Long time no write

Hi there!
Just so you don't think I spend my days away from the office completely goofing off, I wanted to tell you about today.
I protected and defended my property against intruders.  Yes! It's absolutely true! 3 scrawny females and one big fat male. Deer of course. I don't mind if they eat the apricots on the ground,  but they got into my grapes. And that means war!!
The buck is a full grown stag with a  4-5 point rack. He was using it to unjustly chase away his harem when they came to eat apricots too... which is probably why they are all so thin.
I walked out with my hands on my hips and gave them a piece of my mind!  The does scattered, but the buck looked up for a moment and then went back to eating. The nerve!!
I knew my chain smoking neighbor was out in her garden, because well I could smell her and I think I heard her choke back on a laugh snort,  or maybe she just took too big of a drag and sucked  a cig down her throat.
Anyway,  I looked around for a weapon to chase the deer off with and could only find a football. I gave it a big heave ho and it puttered out a few bounces away from me.  How embarrassing. The buck did look up at me with his magnificent antlers and continued to munch unperturbed. Gees!
I needed something better. Something I could throw with more precision. Golf balls!!  I have a bucket of them in the garage.  I ran to get them as the deer repositioned themselves in the grapes. The buck was under the apricot tree enjoying his lunch. Jerk!
I reconoitered into position by a cottonwood tree. I lobbed the first missile.  It thunked against the railroad tie wall on the level below where the deer were and bounced back to me.  Good grief I can't even throw a golf ball accurately!! No wonder I suck at golf!! The buck didn't even look up. Deep breath. I lobbed a second and a third one. One dribbled to the swings and other bounced off the stinking railroad tie wall again.
I decided I needed to get closer since I can't hit anything  less than 10 feet even with my glasses on. Dang that stag was huge!! What was I thinking?? I decided to throw everything I had at him.  I pinged one off the A frame of the swings.  It rolled to his hoof.  I think I heard him sigh in slight annoyance but he kept eating. Really???  My neighbor was lighting up one cig after another in all the excitement.
I pelted one ball after another and moved in for a good shot.  He looked up and I aimed right between his eyes and threw hard and fast every ball I had! He stood there and watched.
I was ready to dive for cover in case he charged. I didn't hit him between the eyes,  but I think I stung him on his left hiney or maybe his knee cap (do deer have kneecaps? I don't know)  But he bolted like he'd been stuck with a hot poker! I was amazed at how fast he could move his massive body. He flew over my walls and off into the sunset.  Ok it was really morning, but I liked the other sentence better.
The sniveling groupies were way ahead of him.  They had left with the first golf ball.
I won this time....

(After note: My neighbor is new and I don't think she realizes that Mr. Stag likes to jump my 6 foot fence where her garden is.  One of these days he's going to fly over the fence and land right on top of her and pop that cig right out of her mouth! He usually travels with a harem of 20 or so....) 

This Weeks Embarrassing Moment

Went to lunch on Friday at a place call Arellas. Sat in a booth that was raised up a step. Went to get out when we were done, missed the step and fell flat on my butt. My friend ran to help me up along with several waitresses. This caused everyone in the place to lean around and see me floundering like a beached porpoise.


"Someone help that poor fat woman to get up!" That's what I was thinking they were thinking...



My friend helped me up and we sidled out of the place. Why do I always have to reveal that I'm only PRETENDING to be a professional business woman?

Hilariously Embarrassing Moment #5463..

I frequently visit the main Post Office in Bountiful which is a hub of activity in Davis County especially around 5:00 p.m. The office I work in is a block away and so the Post Office is conveniently located when I need to mail things for my boss.

April 1st, the big prank day was Friday and I had taken hubby's fart machine to work for the receptionist at the front desk to hide and have fun with during the day.  She hid it under a plant in the foyer and used the remote control when each Real Estate agent came in the office. She wanted to take it home over the weekend to play with her grand kids so when I came into work today, she returned it with much thanks and stories of laughing with her grand kids while she tended them.

I stuck it in my purse and didn't think of it again.  Until that is, I went to the post office at the 5:00 rush to mail 20 letters and a package for my boss.  Because the machine is getting old, it tends to occasionally..., ahem, fire off all by itself. Yes, I was in the middle of putting in the weight and package info into the do it yourself postage machine when the mechanism began to rip!!  Repeatedly. It went through it's entire repetoire.   I pulled it out of my purse in a panic to get it to stop and it exploded even louder. I jammed it back inside and punched keys as fast as I could.  The postal machine rejected my card. I had to try again.  I dropped my purse and shoved it against the wall like it didn't belong to me and focused on getting the stamps out as fast as possible.  My purse continued playing a medley of toots. It was loud.

I started to laugh. There were people behind me, to the side of me. I stayed focused. I bored a hole in the letters with my eyeballs. The letters wouldn't fit through the slot.. I had to shift my weight to open the trap door thing to put lots of letters through. It set my purse off on another flatulate tirade...

I stepped carefully, giggling like mad, but quickly towards the exit doors. Please don't go off, please don't go off... Put the garbage in the recycle bin. beeerb! Get, beeper! Out! Bongerp! of! geeburrrrp! Here!!!!!!

I will now have to go to the Air port Post Office or Ogden Post Office if I need to mail a letter.

Has it really been over a year?

I guess I've been hiberating for a while. And like a bear after a nice winter's nap, (and a nice backside scratch on the nearest tree),  it's time for something good to eat.

The Youngest cub in the house wanted to make a treat.  So we made carmel.  It turned out so good it could be a sin. We made a 13x9 panful. For breakfast yesterday I had a banana and some carmel. I had some as an appetizer before lunch. And again before dinner. Woohoo!

Here's the recipe:

1 Cup butter
2 Cups packed brown sugar
1 C light corn syrup
1 (14oz) can sweetened condensed milk
2 tsp vanilla

This is actually my recipe for carmel apples so you should add 8-10 wooden sticks and 8-10 medium tart apples.

In a heavy sauce pan combine butter, brown sugar, corn syrup, and milk and bring to boil over medium heat.
Cook and stir til candy thermometer reads 248 degrees (firm ball stage) about 30-40 mins. (too long in my opinion)  For softer carmel cook to fewer degrees.  Remove from heat and add vanilla. Dip apple, turn to coat set on buttered plate.  Or pour into a greased 9x13 pan. Lick spoon and bowl and then cut some carmel and savor it. Ummmmm.

Piece de boeuf Braisee

Haloo everyone! After watching Julie and Julia or was it Julia and Julie?? I can't remember,. I went off on a wild hair and ordered  the book "Mastering the Art of French Cooking".  I guess I was wondering if the recipes tasted as good as it appeared on the movie. 

Today I tried my first recipe Boeuf A La Mode because I wanted to try something new with the pot roast in the freezer. I had to thaw it out first and then added diced carrots, onions, and celery with some garlic, thyme, bay leaves, parsley, allspice, and, a little olive oil, salt and pepper and 5 cups of my favorite wine.  Just kidding.  I substituted my homemade grape juice without the sugar added.  I marinaded it over night, browned it this morning after fishing it out of the marinade. Put it back in the pot with all the marinade added and put it in the oven for 4 hours.

Then I looked up the braised carrots in butter recipe and made those off to the side (without the braised onions, I didn't have any of those little onions)

The tip on carrots? I cooked them with 1 TBS sugar (to develop the flavor according to Julia) 1 1/2 cups water, 1 1/2 TBS
butter, 1/2 tsp salt and a pinch of pepper.  Boil slowly for 30 minutes or so until the liquid evaporates. Voila!

Then I pulled the roast out of the cooked juice marinade, put the vegetable remainder through a strainer, because I don't own a sieve, and made gravy out of it.  The gravy went over the carrots and then the carrots were pulled out with a slotted spoon into a serving bowl and the remaining gravy went over the meat and potatoes. Magnifique!  I think my husband is still picking at the roast. And the carrots.  The gravy is gone. I should have made more.

If you're interested in the exact measurements of everything, let me know. I will send it to you. Mis bon amis!

This week at our house. Cookie Monster had his wisdom teeth out and looks like a chipmunk storing up for winter.  Since he sprained his ankle last week badly and has been on crutches, it was difficult to get him into the house after the surgery and down the stairs when he was only semi conscious with one good foot. We almost went down the stairs on our noggins. 

Soccer boy is working at a daycare. Yes, that's right.  He's babysitting. All 6'2'' of him, including the beard. Giggle.  He asked a girl to prom and she answered him on Friday night.  I had 15 minutes to turn his room into something presentable when the girl and all her friends showed up with balloons to go inside his room. I was thinking some non holiday words when I was grabbing piles of clothing, books, etc offf his floor.

The youngest went on his very first overnighter with the scouts.  The went up to a scout camp in the mountains to sleep in tents, make rockets, shoot guns, eats lots of food, go snow shoeing, shoot their rockets off and come home again.  Since he's still in the younger troop, his father got to go with him. :)  I imagine he was thinking some non holiday words at the thought of setting up a tent and sleeping in the snow in 10 degrees. Snicker.

Matt is living in logan and trying to make some mula. He got a gig as a DJ for the New Years dance at the Uof U and made a little money.  Hopefully he can use that to fix the blown speakers. :)

Chris is back at school in Rexburg and travels to Logan to visit a young lady.  I imagine he is visiting some in Rexburg too. For all I know there could be one in Pocatello, Brigham City, Ogden, and Salt Lake. :)  What do I know?  I'm just his mother.

Me?  I threw my back out trying to move the heavy coffee table back into the Living room the night the scouters were away.  That's what I get for snickering at my hubby. Its not too bad. I was able to coach for the girls bb game, make food for the chipmunk in the basement, prepare a lesson, and pretend to be Julia Childs!  I must go now.  I need to ice and heat for a minute before I go to the Bishop's fireside. ciao

One week

In the time period of a week the following things occurred.
4 Christmas parties, getting the card table back from the neighbors (when they weren't home),
preparing soup for a crowd,
salad for a crowd,
pulled pork sandwiches for a crowd,
and purchasing pizza for a smaller group (This does not include Christmas eve or Christmas day which was a turkey and ham etc etc with bread bowls for traditional cheese soup), The other meal days don't count.  Don't forget the multiple trips to the grocery store.

I also didn't get school off.  Had two days of classes including a chapter test which I didn't do as well on as I thought even though I passed. I drive to Kaysville to school.

Made 24 loaves of banana bread, where 8 didn't turn out when they didn't come out of the pans.  They also spilled into my oven for the first time ever and fragranced  the house with essence of banana smoke.
 Made 3 batches of toffee.
Did 24 situps each night thinking it would balance out after I ate the toffee.
Negotiated getting in and out of the driveway between 3 to 4 power company trucks trying to find the reason, my next door neighbors power was out.  The break was under our driveway by the wall. :)
Blue stake came in and sprayed the snow with orange and yellow festive lines.
They brought in a digger and put a 5 ft hole in the driveway.

They had an emergency in Provo and left the cement blocks out, put up some orange and white striped cones, and strung the cones with yellow caution tape. I debated about draping the area with tinsel and lights, but ran out of time. The main hope was that the Mail Nazi would still deliver. Apparently it was all too much for him, because we had a different mail man for the a few days.  I know this because we actually had our mail brought up to the house.  I almost passed out from shock.  What a great Christmas present!
(One of my sons said the Mail Nazi had actually shaved his beard and was sporting a Hitler mustache. I have not yet been able to confirm this.)
I put together 24 bag gifts for the Young women and delivered the laurels. My counselors delivered theirs(Game of Uno with a poem off the internet about UNO (You know) you are a daughter of God etc etc. I threw in some lip gloss for the Laurels)
Put together the loaves of banana bread with bottled jam.  Made tags.
Ryan delivered them dressed in a santa costume I made for Matt when he was in 4th grade Halloween parade. (I used red maternity capris with a red adult sweatshirt so it be could stuffed.  It is edged in fake white fur and it used to have bells for buttons. We still had the beard and hat.

He was on his way to deliver a gift to one of the young men leaders.  I think its a toy pig on a swing... And a pez candy dispenser...

 I spent a lot of time going to Walmart, Kohls, Shopko, Costco, Michaels, Ross dress for less, Barnes and Noble, Smiths market place, Target. Best Buy, and a variety of other places over and over again.

Received my mom's birthday and my sister's christmas presents. Stil haven't mailed them :)

Picked up the little brother and sister of one of my young women at daycare and brought them home. Made sure they got fed.

Received the news that a friend we know well passed away on Christmas eve from an accident with a 4 wheeler. He was a counselor to Dan when Dan was the Elder's Quorum President years ago. He was the Bishop in the ward he moved to. There are 3 general authorities in his ward.  Elder Hales, President Ukdorf and one other, I can't remember which one.  Elder Nelson I think. He was also an excellent Ear Nose and Throat Doc.  I was going to be seeing him for my throat. It's a great loss to their family and the whole community.

I worked on a talk for Sacrament Meeting for yesterdays meeting. I worked on a lesson for the Laurels on Goal setting.

I discovered mice in the dog snack cupboard.  Killed two with one trap. Set more and have been cleaning everything last thing in the cupboard.  Still not done.  They ate all of his small snacks. YUCK!

All the boys went sledding up at the Golf Course here on Christmas day.  Ryan took a bad spill and broke his right collar bone. This was about half an hour after Grandma, Grandpa, and Austin left to go back to Provo.Chris recorded the whole thing on video for posterity.  Dan took him to the ER at the closest hospital. I was working on my talk, but the only thing I could do was wring my hands and pace.  Should have gone to the hospital.  Ryan has been in terrible pain even with the morphine shot. He's doing a little better.  Today we will see the Orthopedic doc.

Put some color stuff on my hair while I took a bath and worked on my talk on Saturday.  Forgot how long it was in.  My hair is now black.

Pulled a large glass pan of yummy potatoes out of the frig to warm up.  The pan had cracked in half some how.  I cut my finger trying to remove it carefully. Burned my arm on the oven. Broke the glass lid to my crock pot when I was pulling pork. The frig in the basement has a leak and the water is under the pergo flooring in Chris's bathroom.  It sloshed when you walk on it.  Dan was twisting under the sink next to the frig to turn off the water and twisted his stomach into a knot and had some killer cramping pains. It knocked the energy out of him and he felt so rotten he had to lay down for a while.

Attended 5 meetings on Sunday.  Gave my talk. Gave my lesson. Dan's brother invited us all up to his cabin an hour's drive away for dinner and some kind of talent show.  I opted out and stayed home.  They had to leave one hour after I got home from meetings. Yes, I am a party pooper.

Some dogs belongs to some members (huskys) got loose again today and attacked Benny.  I was trying to beat one of them off with a shovel. They had him by his neck. He shook for 30 minutes afterwards.

Oh and we've almost hit the neighbors dogs about 4 times this week alone.

Someone did a 12 days of christmas for me and made my year :)

That's about it.  The rest is normal boring stuff like laundry. You know, the boring stuff.

So how did your week go?

Mission experience

Matt performed a musical number with two other missionaries in Long Island NY when he was there.  I wanted to try and get the video to transfer, but I don't know how.  You can go to my facebook to see it I hope. The link is below.  It's a beautiful  version of If you could Hie to Kolob and they made it up and practiced it once before they performed it...

http://www.facebook.com/home.php?#/home.php?ref=home

Halloween

Youngest getting ready to head out and scare everyone. If you can't figure out what he is... he's the Joker from Batman.

 Our neighbor made a Harry Potter dementor and after it was nice and dark he rang our door bell and flew it in front of the door to scare the daylights out of us.

We had lots of goblins come to our door. Neighbors and people who drive here from different parts of the valley to trick or treat.  Lots of hispanics...para el dia de los muertos.

It's snowing

Ok, so I haven't written in a while.  Let me review the last few months.  Naw, there's too much. Let me sum up: I lost 8 lbs on a no sugar diet.  Went off diet, gained pounds back eating candy. I'm in the middle of the second final for my spreadsheets class.  I cut my hair off.  If you haven't seen my facebook, here is a photo with Mr. Magoo glasses.

We are currently going through the H1N1 illness or some kind of flu close to it. 3 boys have been sick or are currently sick. That's pretty much it except that it's snowing and I'm making grape juice. Bye for now

Haven't written for a while. Don't feel like it.

School starts Monday.

I've been listening to 10,000 miles. It's one of my favorites even though I don't listen to it much because it makes me weep. Went to a funeral today. It seems appropriate.

Got my har cut

It was two or three inches below my shoulders this morning. ..this afternoon its above.

Another photo

Yesterday in Sacrament meeting, a member passed this photo that came in their newspaper yesterday. It was a different Salt Lake paper, one we don't take. We were very surprised and appreciative. I remember when this happened during the game. This makes 3 newspapers. We're amazed.

Here's some pics

This was in the paper this morning

This is extra

We lost

WX took 2nd place in the State Soccer Championship Finals. Soccer boy got his picture in the Salt Lake Paper, but I can't get the image to print from the scan. He played his heart out. They were tied 0-0 going into the second half. I'm very proud of him.

State Championship Soccer Finals today

Today, Soccer boy will be playing in the State Championship finals for his High School at the Real Salt Lake Soccer stadium. I thinks he's nervous. I'm nervous. Win or lose, they have had an amazing season. GO WILD CATS!

What happened to april?

I guess I should update my blaaag. The weather is considerably better since I last posted. The grass is green. The flowers are blooming. Lots of changes since the last time.

Except my weight. That's about the same. Ok, maybe a little higher.

I am exercising,...it's just the brownies in between times... My brain thinks that if I only have just a little smidgen, it won't hurt. It's amazing how an entire pan of treats can disappear one centimeter at a time. When the boys ask, "Who ate all the brownies?" the words, "I don't know" seem to tumble out of my mouth. I've even mastered a look of incredulous amazement and have hinted at possible perpetrators including the dog. Poor Benny, he gets blamed for everything. (he he) Holy Moly, I'm goin to h-e- double toothpicks.

In other news, my hubby is home reinventing himself. There are some advantages to this. Gasoline savings for example. Access to the refrigerator. Extra office chairs as well. Several un-named sons have been seen rolling down the street in them. And of course, another culprit to blame the missing brownies on :)

I looked out the window and what did I see?

White stuff falling on the apricot tree....

March comes in like a lion and goes out like a... lion?

btw, soccer boy didn't win after all that. he's very sad. Won their soccer game though...

Pay off

Zoolander made it past the preliminary round of voting! It's down to 8 people now. I guess there were a bunch of people running. He may not make it, but hey, he made it to the final 8, right?

I have the Mother of all headaches. Too many late nights. Last night I was painting stars and moons on a cub scout space derby. I need to finish with the suns and he can put the fins on. The derby is tonight. I've been working on getting "My Life's Journey" book put together enough to show at the Stake YW leadership meeting tonight. We're giving our ideas on what we're doing to each ward. We've got our New Beginnings Theme "Constant as the North Star" with the star book for lesson handouts, a star necklace, etc, Our 'This and That' book for our life skills how to's , and our Personal History book that I already mentioned. No time for anymore than that.

This is our little star book. It holds 4x6 cards (or pictures, it's actually a mini photo album, holds about 36) I cut the stars on my cricket out of silver vinyl. Peel and stick. Very easy. We make our handouts to that size. They will have a fun little record of cool quotes, pics, and lesson reminders for the year. We hope they will use the little book and not throw handouts away. We presented all this at New Beginnings.

This is the necklace we gave each girl for the year. When you buy in bulk, it's amazing how inexpensive it can be.

This is the Personal History book or "My Life Story". There are 3 sections. First, Year by Year, two page spreads on each year of life. Left side has a typed Year in the News column. Right side has a column for special events for that year in the girls life. The rest of the space is for a few pictures. (We didn't want to overwhelm them)

Second section is Ancestors: Where I Came From with geneology charts, places for pictures of family members etc and stories of their lives.

Third section is the Spiritual things: Certificates like blessings, baptism, partriarchal blessings, YW recognition etc. We in our second year of working on this book. I also think they should put a copy of their birth certificate and future marriage in this section. If you want more details, let me know.

I will probably include either another section or add to the last section for other achievements like camp certificates, school certificates etc. Individual personal progress recognition.

I don't have a pic of our "This and That" book, only individual pages so far. Still putting that together...

Gotta run. Have a missionary assignment to take care of, primary lessons to distribute for sunday, and phone calls to make. Love to all

What some mothers will do.. round 2

Hello again. Just an update on yesterday. The poster fell off the wall. Yep, should have used duck tape. ( I thought we weren't supposed to use duck tape. sticky residue and all that)

Last night after 4 hours of preparing for a dinner for the Senior Citizens in our ward for the YW/YM, and running cub boy to scouts, zipping over to Soccer boy's game for a little bit, I got home at 9:15pm to make another Senior Class campaign poster. He wanted Zoolander.

What that means? Taking enough photos in 9 different shirts-- with the same expression in all of them and reviewing...

Soccer boy snickering, "That one is stupid"

Me, "It looks fine"

Soccer boy, "Let's take another."

"click"

Soccer boy, "That one I look like a dork"

Me, "I thought that was the idea."

Soccer boy, "let's take another."

"click"

Soccer boy laughing, "That one is funny"

Me, "You look like you've been zinged by a cattle prod."

Soccer boy, "I like it."

Me. "Ok then, next shirt!"

Here is the final product...


Don't know how he got them to stick to the wall since he left before I found the duck tape....
Good luck Zoolander man.

What some mothers will do for their children

6:45 am this morning. High School lobby area. Where to put the posters for Senior Class officer campaign? Hey! How about above the vending machine! Everyone goes there. Everyone will see it! "Check it afor Checketts!"

Problem. How to reach the brick above the vending machines. A passing teacher offers a chair. Still can't quite reach. Soccer boy won't climb up on vending machine. Doesn't want to get dress pants dirty.(game day: nice shirt and tie etc). Friend says dust on top is narly, and won't do it either.

Mom says, "I'll do it!" (wimps!) Mom uses arms to lift upper body up and realizes as she's suspended on edge of machine, that she's not as young as she used to be, or as thin. Hanging by pectoral muscles feels like positioning for a mammogram. She makes a desperate swing with one leg, remembering that the pair of levi's she's wearing are a bit on the too tight side, but manages to get a knee up (with grunts and much effort) and plants her bum in the a plume of dust on top. Unfortunately for her son and his friend it is not without exposing her religion, a midsection tire, and heaven forbid, a possible plumbers crack.

The boys may need a therapist after what they witnessed, but hey, Mission Accomplished !