Went to lunch on Friday at a place call Arellas. Sat in a booth that was raised up a step. Went to get out when we were done, missed the step and fell flat on my butt. My friend ran to help me up along with several waitresses. This caused everyone in the place to lean around and see me floundering like a beached porpoise.
"Someone help that poor fat woman to get up!" That's what I was thinking they were thinking...
My friend helped me up and we sidled out of the place. Why do I always have to reveal that I'm only PRETENDING to be a professional business woman?
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
Hilariously Embarrassing Moment #5463..
I frequently visit the main Post Office in Bountiful which is a hub of activity in Davis County especially around 5:00 p.m. The office I work in is a block away and so the Post Office is conveniently located when I need to mail things for my boss.
April 1st, the big prank day was Friday and I had taken hubby's fart machine to work for the receptionist at the front desk to hide and have fun with during the day. She hid it under a plant in the foyer and used the remote control when each Real Estate agent came in the office. She wanted to take it home over the weekend to play with her grand kids so when I came into work today, she returned it with much thanks and stories of laughing with her grand kids while she tended them.
I stuck it in my purse and didn't think of it again. Until that is, I went to the post office at the 5:00 rush to mail 20 letters and a package for my boss. Because the machine is getting old, it tends to occasionally..., ahem, fire off all by itself. Yes, I was in the middle of putting in the weight and package info into the do it yourself postage machine when the mechanism began to rip!! Repeatedly. It went through it's entire repetoire. I pulled it out of my purse in a panic to get it to stop and it exploded even louder. I jammed it back inside and punched keys as fast as I could. The postal machine rejected my card. I had to try again. I dropped my purse and shoved it against the wall like it didn't belong to me and focused on getting the stamps out as fast as possible. My purse continued playing a medley of toots. It was loud.
I started to laugh. There were people behind me, to the side of me. I stayed focused. I bored a hole in the letters with my eyeballs. The letters wouldn't fit through the slot.. I had to shift my weight to open the trap door thing to put lots of letters through. It set my purse off on another flatulate tirade...
I stepped carefully, giggling like mad, but quickly towards the exit doors. Please don't go off, please don't go off... Put the garbage in the recycle bin. beeerb! Get, beeper! Out! Bongerp! of! geeburrrrp! Here!!!!!!
I will now have to go to the Air port Post Office or Ogden Post Office if I need to mail a letter.
April 1st, the big prank day was Friday and I had taken hubby's fart machine to work for the receptionist at the front desk to hide and have fun with during the day. She hid it under a plant in the foyer and used the remote control when each Real Estate agent came in the office. She wanted to take it home over the weekend to play with her grand kids so when I came into work today, she returned it with much thanks and stories of laughing with her grand kids while she tended them.
I stuck it in my purse and didn't think of it again. Until that is, I went to the post office at the 5:00 rush to mail 20 letters and a package for my boss. Because the machine is getting old, it tends to occasionally..., ahem, fire off all by itself. Yes, I was in the middle of putting in the weight and package info into the do it yourself postage machine when the mechanism began to rip!! Repeatedly. It went through it's entire repetoire. I pulled it out of my purse in a panic to get it to stop and it exploded even louder. I jammed it back inside and punched keys as fast as I could. The postal machine rejected my card. I had to try again. I dropped my purse and shoved it against the wall like it didn't belong to me and focused on getting the stamps out as fast as possible. My purse continued playing a medley of toots. It was loud.
I started to laugh. There were people behind me, to the side of me. I stayed focused. I bored a hole in the letters with my eyeballs. The letters wouldn't fit through the slot.. I had to shift my weight to open the trap door thing to put lots of letters through. It set my purse off on another flatulate tirade...
I stepped carefully, giggling like mad, but quickly towards the exit doors. Please don't go off, please don't go off... Put the garbage in the recycle bin. beeerb! Get, beeper! Out! Bongerp! of! geeburrrrp! Here!!!!!!
I will now have to go to the Air port Post Office or Ogden Post Office if I need to mail a letter.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
